Heartbeat
by Nina Graph
Summary: He didn't care if he leaves, if he hates him, so long as Tsuna's heart keeps beating.


**HEARTBEAT**

The clouds had a red tint to them that night. No stars could be seen clearly, and a mocking radiance of the moon's light was the only brightness in the sky, like the ray of a flashlight shining through a thick red fabric.

If the curtains hadn't been drawn, both occupants of the room would have been able to see the garden below, enveloped by gray mist, and the silence and quietness of the air and flowers. But neither of them had had the time to pay attention to the outside that day, not had they cared. Each one was wrapped by their own thoughts, which floated around their minds in the strained air that surrounded them. They hadn't talked to each other for a while.

Tsuna was the first to get under the covers of the king-sized canopied bed, in only a pair of pajama pants, his torso bare. He looked at his lover, whose back was facing him; one last look before he closed his eyes.

The raven hadn't made any efforts to talk to his lover ever since he had returned, and even though many would have considered that being part of Hibari's personality, Tsuna knew better. In the scarce time Hibari had dedicated to him, they hadn't talked and barely made eye contact, the efforts from the brunet's part to get him to talk resulting in awkward silences and heated discussions.

Tsuna couldn't understand what was wrong. Gokudera and Yamamoto had been beyond pissed at him for not telling them about the plan, but that was their way of telling him how much they loved him and how he should trust in them more. All of his other friends had had similar reactions, but Hibari didn't have any motive to act like that. He was the one who knew about it, after all.

He had surpassed the phase of insecurities long ago, after they had started their relationship. Tsuna knew he hadn't done anything wrong, and if he had, he knew Hibari wouldn't have hesitated to tell him so. That meant the problem concerned his lover, and that was where his fear resided. Had something happened in the time he had been away? Had Hibari realized he was happier without him? With those troubling thoughts, he fell into a troubled slumber.

Right after Tsuna's breathing had evened, Hibari slid into the bed next to him.

"_What's your problem?!"_

"_Nothing"_

"_I just don't understand why you're so mad! Talk to me, Kyoya!"_

Knowing the plan hadn't made a difference. He had tried to persuade Tsuna not to do it; he had tried to convince him that he alone could take them down, to no avail. And Tsuna had tried to calm him, to assure him that everything would be alright. And Hibari had believed him.

The day the news broke inside the Vongola base, he was away. He didn't want to be there to stand the other guardians' wailing, and only appeared for the funeral.

The whole family, even Mukuro, had been present. It had taken place at clearing in the forest, one of Tsuna's favorite places to meditate and escape the chaos of the headquarters. His lover was dressed in his usual black suit with an orange shirt, his hair as untamed as always, and his honey-colored eyes closed. He looked so at peace, as if his chest hadn't been pierced by a bullet.

Everyone had made way for him to take a closer look as he approached, some glaring at him for arriving so late. The other guardians, along with Nana, Iemitsu and Reborn, stood at the front in a row, all of their eyes stained with unshed tears.

Hibari knew all this mourning would come to an end soon. He knew Tsuna was only resting in that coffin surrounded by lilies; he was only waiting for the future to be fixed so he could wake up and smile like he always did.

But it somehow unsettled Hibari to see him still and cold like that.

He had kneeled down next to his lover. His fingertips had run across his cold, soft cheek, and remembered the time when Tsuna would stop his hand to bring it to his lips. He had never said it, but he always craved for those pure, loving kisses. His hand had caressed those soft locks, reviving the times when he would inhale their sent as he cradled the other against his chest. He loved that perfume, even more so mixed with Tsuna's favorite cologne. He traced the outline of the other's lips, wanting them to curve upwards and whisper the sickeningly sweet words of love that brought peace to his soul.

But then, his hand had continued down Tsuna's chest, and stilled suddenly. He pressed down softly, slightly, as if he could still hurt the other, and felt a sense of dread wrap around his chest, suffocating him. Because there, underneath the fabric of the suit, underneath the cold skin, there was nothing. No heartbeat.

The sudden realization made him freeze, even though it should have been evident from the start. Dead people's hearts don't beat. And that was what made Hibari, for the first time in his entire life, feel _scared_.

His lover was not pretending. Tsuna was not resting. Tsuna was dead, dead and gone, and if this whole plot failed, he would be gone forever. And Hibari knew there was a huge chance everything fell apart.

When the younger Tsunayoshi had come from the past, confused and frightened, it had only helped Hibari to remember that was not the brunet he loved, but a painful reminder of him. He had trained him the way he had sparred with his older self; his clumsiness, kindness and bravery made him remember why Hibari's younger self had fallen in love with him all those years ago. His warmness, determination and strength made his remember why he was still in love.

In the end, the plan was a success, as Tsuna had predicted. There were mixed reactions –anger, happiness, relief, indifference –but everything had turned out alright. Tsuna was there with them, smiling and lighting the place with his presence as he had always done. But that hadn't been enough to bring Hibari peace.

He reached for Tsuna under the covers. Slowly, gently, very unlike him, he caressed the soft skin of the other's hip, the hips that at nights like this would move in sync with his own. His fingertips traced the outline of Tsuna's muscles and continued on towards his arms, the slender arms that wrapped around his neck to pull him into the most passionate kisses. Finally, he reached Tsuna's chest, which moved up and down with the heart's every pulse and Tsuna's breahting.

He put his ear above the beat so he could hear it more clearly. It was strong and continuous, it echoed within him and made his own hear beat in the same rhythm.

He had wanted to own Tsunayoshi's very existence, for the brunet to be for him only. He had thought those smiles in his directions, those whispers into his ears, the gentle touches to his body were of his property. Yet it had all been taken away from him so _easily_, and he had felt so helpless and confused, because it had made him understand.

Tsunayoshi was never truly his. He was Vongola's, and the fact that he had given his love to Hibari was only a lucky twist of destiny, because he could have easily fallen for anyone else. Tsuna belonged to everyone, and that's the reason he had left him so easily: for the sake of everyone else. That was what he was confused about the most. Because he didn't mind.

He kissed Tsuna's pulse, waking his up. He kissed his way up the other's neck, and then he licked Tsuna's arm up to his wrist, where he began kissing again.

"Kyoya…?"

He didn't mind, because all he wanted was for Tsuna to live. Even if he left, even if one day Tsuna stopped loving him, if he started to hate him, he didn't mind. So long as he was _alive,_ as long as he could see him smile and be happy from afar, as long as…

"…you keep your heart beating."

Tsuna's eyes widened. He looked at his lover, whose face was hidden in the crook of his neck and was kissing his pulse. And he understood.

"I won't leave you, Kyoya. Never again. I couldn't…" he was interrupted by a pair of soft lips against his own. No words were necessary. Instead, Tsuna dedicated Hibari his brightest, most sincere smile, and guided him to his chest again.

Hibari wrapped his arms around Tsuna, and allowed his heartbeat beat to lull him to sleep.

_**This little fluffy thing occurred to me while I was working on the outline for the next chapter of 'Baby Steps'. It brought me cavities.**_

_**I realized with this I kind of suck at fancy descriptions (meaning no disrespect to the ones who write them, it's just a way to call that style of writing), read the beginning to see what I mean. But I think the best stories are also the simplest, or rather, fancy descriptions aren't necessary when the beauty of the story is in the facts themselves, which doesn't mean they shouldn't be well-written! (Besides my vocabulary is kind of limited 3).But I don't know. Do you prefer stories with a lot of imagery and metaphors and fancy descriptions and such, or more simple ones? (Improvised poll!)**_

_**As always, feedback and critique are welcome. Thank you very much for reading!**_

_**Love and hugs,**_

_**҉ Nina ҉**_


End file.
